Calling All Moms! Time to Revel in Rest

Writing from the beach, I was enjoying the sunrise, waves crashing, rustling palm fronds, birds chirping and reading a chapter in my book about workaholism and how peak performers have one thing in common: they rest.

Rest?!

It’s something I teach in my detox programs (detoxing from “doing-it-all”) and particularly with my mama clients. As a functional nutritionist, my work is to figure out underlying causes for fatigue and stress that ultimately affect the microbiome and brain, trigger nutritional imbalances or even lead to illness. As a single, working mom, my personal work includes figuring out how to rest.

But I suck at “rest”. For me, rest is something I’m doing while sitting still. At home, that could be reading a book (about nutrition or how to build a business) or playing with my kids (while thinking about work) or folding laundry (with mind wandering to my “to do” list). On vacay, I sit on edge at the beach (intently watching my kids in the much-feared ocean); I sit on the lanai while mapping out the next activity; I sit in the car while calling out the sights (that I just read about in the book).

The “work from anywhere” concept was enticing even before COVID turned our homes into offices, blurring the lines between work and life. My vision for my “work” is the flexibility to enjoy life more. As it turns out, working from home means never-ending work – planning, preparing, organizing, cleaning, maintaining, mentoring, juggling and – just a few minutes most mornings – conscious breathing.

 And, it also means working from the beach.

Each day is a repeat. Weekends are similar, squeezing in a bit of work before kids wake up. Like all moms, I need small or big breaks whenever I can get them!

In January, with spring break on the horizon, I chose to take my kids on a much-needed adventure, knowing I’d be working simultaneously. While planning our trip (researching, packing, scheduling, dealing with COVID tests & websites & regulations + flights), plus having kids an extra FULL WEEK (their dad thought he had COVID), I vowed to create balance between work and daily mom duties. Would it be possible?

Of course, I was exhausted before we left home, despite sleeping well most nights and keeping up my whole foods regimen, B-vitamins, and hydration. Still, I managed not to get sick before out trip (common for many). Traveling fatigue also is common, yet it’s actually a symptom of living on overdrive, piled atop innumerable factors: emotional states, sleep, exercise, diet, exercise, medications, environmental toxins, lack of life purpose or spiritual connection – too many causes to mention here.

Nonetheless, since spring “break” began, I’ve been up early every morning (even weekends), working.

The point of vacation is rest, not recovery, and vacations are disastrous when we don’t enjoy them. Single mom spring break with kids is potentially ominous. Hence, I chose an island (naturally calming), booked no activities (eek!), and allowed the days to unfold (so. not. me.). While my kids woke every morning to mama on the computer, I stopped (with unfinished projects!) and enjoyed the remainder of the day together. I cultivated an energetic break from the hustle, perfectionism, workaholism and freneticism, founding myself lost in many moments. Beach play, snorkeling and hiking washed away layers of stress.  

We cannot resort to such extravagant releases on a regular basis, can we.? How may we mamas address fatigue in our daily lives? “Quick fixes” like caffeine to find energy quickly may help occasionally, but over time may lead to depletion.

But today, reading about rest and enjoying a delicious cup of coffee that was prepared and hand-delivered to me by my friend (upon whose oceanside deck I was lounging), my phone alerted me to this: column due today! Ironically, my rest was interrupted by a deadline, hence this post, modified from the original which I had started (but not finished) before vacation.

As ever, mamas, feel free to start with coffee (heavenly) to overcome fatigue from survival. I do. And, while reveling in the mineral-rich ritual, choose one other way to increase energy today. For mental energy, I choose meditation (even 5 minutes), gentle movement (even a short asana sequence), or hemp extracts (even a quarter dropper). For physical energy , I may change tasks, go outside, exercise, soak up the sun’s rays. To energize my cells, I eat fresh, whole foods instead of breads, packaged foods or gelato, and nourish my gut with live bacteria from yogurt and sauerkraut. And I enjoy sugar and caffeine (daily, and in limited quantities), eliminate alcohol (with a few exceptions), and definitely prioritize sleep (without exception). For a boost of emotional energy, I call a friend, practice gratitude.

For rest, I force myself to sit for just a few minutes, without agenda, just noticing the place I’m in - the sounds, temperature on my skin, how my body feels. Or, I pause to enjoy moments when my kids play together joyfully (a mother’s pride), when they fight for space on mama’s lap (be still, my bursting heart!), and remind me why rest is so important: it brings us back to the present moment.

For now, let go of all the possible physical, mental, environmental, emotional and spiritual underlying causes of fatigue - an entire life assessment may be prudent to address the underlying causes. Instead, I implore you to seek a bit rest, every day. It’s surprising uplifting.